hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
