well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
foreskin is a definite game changer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
