I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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