I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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