how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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