you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize