You're completely useless in the revolution.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
