Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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