so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
