I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
