break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
