im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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