did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize