Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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