SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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