Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
