I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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