and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
