Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
