best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
