That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
