Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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