but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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