i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize