so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
