my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
