This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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