I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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