went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
be right there i have to get my cape
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
