So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
