My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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