drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
