everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
