I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
