Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
