ugly people sure do ruin things
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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