in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
