Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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