member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
