That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
