Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
