I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
