Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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