We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
