I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
