There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
