My room smells like vodka and shame
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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