Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
