i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it was like eating out sand paper
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
