I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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