McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
