I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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