Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
