Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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