when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
