is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
