I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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