i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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