Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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