I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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