girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can you bring me the toilet please
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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