dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize