i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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