Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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