So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I am one with the molecules
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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