After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize