the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
