Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
