So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
