We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize