the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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