Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
