She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't deserve a penis
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
