I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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