She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
