He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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