And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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