Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
