Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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