im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
