sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
