I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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