forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
